When are you coming home?

Living abroad I get asked this question a lot.  This post is more of a rant, but hey, it's my blog.

I equate people asking me this question to the "when are you having kids" question.  In other words, I hate it.

There isn't some law attached to getting married that says you must have kids.  Why then is that the only question that people seem to ask me and my husband?  I will never understand it.  

Back to "When are you coming home?"  My question back to anyone that asks this is WHY?  Why is it that you think I should come home?  Before I continue, let me clarify that there is a difference between asking me when I'll be home for a visit, and when are you moving/coming back home.  I don't mind the "when are you visiting?" question.

So, why should I come home?  Really.  What's the real reason?  Right now, I am happy, making enough money to put money in my savings account every month, travel anywhere I want, and have quite a bit of free time to enjoy life.  I have friends here, people I care about, my husband is here, my dog is here.  I have all the modern technologies that allow me to keep in touch with everyone at home. So why, why is it that so many people feel I should come home?

Come home to what? Car payments, hitting the streets to try and find a good paying job, bills, bills, etc.  Sure sure, I get that I am missed at home, and I appreciate that.  But after the newness of my return wears off and everything is back to normal, then what?  I realize I'm painting a bleak picture of home, and that is not my intention.  If I had to go home tomorrow, I wouldn't fall into some deep dark hole of depression, but life is pretty easy where I am.  Why would I want to return to something that I know won't be nearly as simple or enjoyable?

I realize that I can't stay here forever, but why rush me?  There is plenty of time to rejoin the American 9-5, 2 weeks vacation life.  Right now, I am living a part of my life that I will be able to look back on and know that I have really lived.  I have seen and touched some of the Wonders of the World.  My passport is nearly full of stamps...The memories we are making will last us a lifetime, and in the end will make us better people...more content people.

I don't want to be, *rephrase* I won't be a coulda woulda shoulda person. 

So the question I want to ask all of you is "When are you coming to visit me?  No amount of story-telling or pictures will ever do this experience justice.  It's something you simply have to experience first-hand for yourself.  I would bet that after experiencing what we experience on a daily basis for just one week, that you will at least hesitate before asking me again, "When are you coming home?"  You may even ask me instead, "When can I come back for a visit?" 

See you soon! 
Hugs and kisses and much love to all our family who misses us.  I know why you want us to come home, it's the same reason I want you to visit! 

The holidays really are just about family.

Living abroad has given me the opportunity to really understand and appreciate what the holidays are really about. Thanksgiving came and went yesterday in South Korea just like any other day. I went to work; Darius and I had dinner, watched TV, and went to the gym. There was no mountain of Black Friday ads waiting for me at my door, football on the TV, or lively family conversation coming from the other room. There was no smell of deep fried turkey, marshmallows, and pies. So, it wasn't Thanksgiving for me.

That said, Thanksgiving really is about just being with your family, cooking together, eating together, and let's face it, arguing together. The feeling of Thanksgiving cannot be recreated or substituted on any other day it seems. My husband and his family use to gather together every Sunday for an extravagant Sunday dinner worthy to be placed on any Thanksgiving Day dinner table. Depsite this weekly holiday-like dinner, the atmosphere of Thanksgiving Day in the same house with the same people that I have dinner with every week is somehow different. Maybe this is what people mean by the "Holiday spirit"

At any rate, holidays are hard without your family. I have demanded that we celebrate Thanksgiving this weekend, even if it is just the two of us. We will be eating overpriced worth every penny (Thank you Costco) Turkey, green bean casserole, and other food to be determined. Darius and I are on a diet, so no mashed potatoes and gravy will make it on our thanksgiving plate this year.

The other thing I miss is my Christmas Tree. If I were at home, I would be decorating it instead of writing this. Christmas trees are available here, but they are so expensive. Last year I settled for admiring the big Christmas tree located at City Hall, which is right by my house, but this year I'm going to make a better effort to make Christmas feel like Christmas. At least a little bit anyways. I'm thinking of a big paper tree taped on the empty wall in my apartment. I'm sure Darius is just going to love this idea. *sarcasm.

I also miss Christmas Cards, getting them, giving them...I cherish the ones that are sent to me and they are displayed in our apartment just like they would be if we were at home. HINT: Send me CHRISTMAS CARDS!

Even though we will miss three very big family holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, I can be thankful for an American Holiday Tradition that can evoke the same "Holiday Spirit" in February that I WILL be home for...Super Bowl Sunday.

IN RESPONSE TO: Korea! What have you done to me?!

I can't blame Korea for all my weight problems, but as human nature goes, I must blame someone/something.  Here is my blame list...

1.  Graduation from High School
2.  Getting a job where I actually had money to buy real groceries instead of ramen noodles, instant rice, and mac n cheese.  Which is actually kind of weird, none of those things were healthy, but that was what I ate nearly everyday during college with no problems....hmmm.
3.  Meeting my husband and subsequently his mother, the talented Southern cook.  (In her defense, she did warn me, that if I kept coming over to eat, my size 2 jeans would soon be a long ago memory).
4.  Working at a bank and then an office building where there were free for all junk food drawers.
5.  Discovering all the wonderful food this world has to offer via travel and like-minded friends. 
6.  My own set of values:  I'm not a club girl, I'm not a drinker, and I'm not down for the all-night kegger being held in the nearest field.  Because of this, what does one do when one goes out?  One eats...

So in response:
My current diet:  The HCG diet.  I'm currently in Phase 2 Day 32/40.
My current mood:  Angry
Weight loss as of this post: 16 pounds.

"WOW!"you say? "16 pounds!"  "Then why is she angry?" you're thinking.  Wait for it...Wait for it....

I believe I have a somewhat unhealthy obsession with good food, anything salty, and anything cheesy. 

Can I eat these things on my HCG diet?  Of course I can't!  Therefore I am angry on a daily basis.  Granted I'm liking the results, and I 'm in the last stage of the grieving process as it relates to the food that is now lost to me...Acceptance....almost. 

Stage 1:  Denial...I conned myself into going on this diet under the guise that I was helping my husband who is also on the diet.  In reality, though, it was time for me to get serious about losing weight. 

Stage 2:  Anger:  If I didn't already have a strong marriage, this would have been quite a test on our relationship.  We are both food lovers, and not having what we want, feeling unsatisfied, and endless reminders of all the things we can't eat...we were angry.  When I am angry, I lash out at the closest thing, which in a studio apartment, is always my husband.  I can be quite snippy and short.  Thankfully, after being in a relationship with a brat like me for 13 years, he has learned to ignore my tantrums. 

Stage 3:  Bargaining:  Yep, mmhmm.  Possibly the worst stage...There I was sitting on the couch, contemplating if it was all worth it.  Is losing weight really worth the sacrifice of missing out on all the wonderful food creations that are right outside my door?  Shouldn't we be living life to the fullest?  Doesn't that mean that I should always be happy about the food I'm eating?  GOODNESS!  Why is food so important to us?  When did it start being something to truly enjoy and stop being a means to fuel our body?  Personally, I'm placing blame on the popularity of the Food Network. 

P.S After some serious thinking I came to the conclusion that food really isn't THAT important in the grand scheme of living life to the fullest.  I am basing it on the fact that I have never known anyone who has looked back on their life and said, " Man, I wish I would have eaten more sushi and cookie dough ice cream."

Stage 4:  Depression:  Looking at my dinner plate with either grilled shrimp, fish, or chicken, and a stupid vegetable on your plate day after day will make anyone depressed.  No cheese, Nothing fried, no potatoes, no salt n vinegar almonds, no baskin robbins, no cherry laffy taffy, and the worst...No Lattes!  no dairy, no sugar, no cream, no fun.  DEPRESSING.

Stage 5:  Acceptance:  Such desperate times call for incredible creativity and ingeninuity.  So, as I enter this last week and a half of good food deprivation, I have come to accept this new lifestyle of eating healthy.  We have found ingenious ways to cook and eat our food in order to trick ourselves into thinking we are eating something sinfully delicious without the consequences.  I think our greatest find is our soymilk coffee creation...courtesy of deliciously thick Korean soy milk, Korean instant coffee, and flavored Stevia. To me, it is a heavenly treat that reminds me slightly of what hot chocolate should be like (if I could have chocolate).  Thick and creamy and wonderful.  It's my 75 calorie treat that gets me through the day.  Of course the real test will be when I go home and make it for someone else.  I realized last night that it is very possible that a normal person on a normal diet would find our drink concoction somewhat disgusting.  After all, soy milk is an acquired taste. 

Blame KOREA, it has permanently changed my taste buds to such a degree that I now prefer soy milk.  Yep, thanks Korea.  Now I'm "that girl"  You know, the one who goes to the Starbucks and orders the Soy Chai Tea Latte and actally likes it!

Korea! What have you done to me?

Darius and I both had rainbow and glitter filled assumptions about Korea. Here are just a few:

1. There will be plenty of people who will be able to speak English.

2. This will be a great opportunity to eat better and lose some weight.

3. Korean? It can't be that hard to learn, can it?



When the sun set (AKA wheels touched down in ROK) the rainbow and glitter quickly began to fade away.



1A. There is a lot of English, but there is never enough. The town we live in is small, and there was not a lot of English around when we first arrived. In the almost 2 years that we have lived here, I can say that the amount of English signage and speaking capabilities of the locals is always increasing and improving.



2A. Little did we know that Korea has some of the very best fried chicken EVER! Also, the local pizza place, and the beef restaurants are too good to stay away from. We quickly realized that making better choices would be just as difficult here as it was at home. **SPOILER** We made terrible food choices. Most places deliver here, and all it would take was for me to pick up the phone and say 'yobosayo' (hello in Korean, but only when saying hello on the phone *See #3A) The person on the other end of the phone would immediately know who was calling and tell me my address and what I wanted to order before I got in another word. You know you are eating out too much when the local owner of the Mom's Touch (Korean for Popeye's chicken...seriously) drops by your apartment to bring you a souvenir he bought for you on his recent trip to Jeju Island.

Unfortunately, a lot of foreigners fall prey to the food traps in Korea. The simple truth to foreigner weight gain in a country full of men and women who consider a size 4 to be plus size is this: No matter how world traveled and independent you think you are, home is where the heart is. Eating foods that remind us of home keeps the melancholy of being so far away from home at bay.



3A. Yep, Korean isn't so easy.

The Revival of my blog.

My poor blog has remained empty and ignored for many months.  Writing and I have a terrible on again off again relationship that drives my husband crazy.  For some reason, he thinks I'm good at it, and that I am keeping all the good stuff inside my head.  Well, my moody writer's brain, has informed me it is once again time for me to pick up my pen and write. This is also the same moody writer's brain that prompted me to completely eradicate my blog posts via the delete button one cold winter afternoon when I decided it sucked.  Let that serve as a warning that you should read quickly.  Who knows when such a mood might strike me again?  I certainly don't.   Over the next few days, there will hopefully be a ridiculous amount of writing going on to keep you entertained until my brain decides it's time for yet another sabbatical.