After three years of living abroad, I have come to accept/ignore/understand certain cultural differences between East and West. However, some things are even beyond me, and the following is one of them. In my opinion, it's a case of taking 'saving face' way too far.
Along with dealing with the doctors in regards to baby's small size and lower than normal amniotic fluid level, we can now add my high blood pressure, aka gestational hypertension. I have no other symptoms to indicate pre-eclampsia, which is a good thing. At the first sign of this 2 weeks ago, my doctor tells me once again that I am too high risk, and she can't continue my care at her hospital. She wants to now pass me off to the general hospital, which I absolutely hate. The general hospital reminds me of a cross between a less than desirable nursing home and a mental institution. The staff and doctors are nice and the medical care is up to par, but the environment is incredibly creepy. It's the last place I want to be, and the really last place that I want to deliver and stay in.
The doctor gave me no choice, and my liaison, too felt her decision to brush me off was a little premature. BUT, Korean culture keeps my liaison from speaking her mind because she is younger than the doctor.
I found another private hospital with similar facilities to the one I like to try my luck there. I was also turned away after they discovered my high blood pressure. The liaison at this hospital finally gave me the explanation I had been seeking. My first thoughts were that my doctor was simply not confident. That is not the case. Because there is a chance that I may need to deliver early due to high blood pressure or low amniotic fluid levels, this must be done at a general hospital with a NICU. That, I can understand. What I couldn't understand was why I couldn't continue my care at the hospital I liked until or if such a situation did arise. The liaison explained that if the hospital continued to see me, and then I needed to go and deliver at the general hospital because of a problem, it would make the hospital look bad and embarrass the doctor because it appears that the doctor did not catch my condition early and made a mistake.
This makes absolutely NO SENSE, but saving face is always more important than anything else it seems. Understandable but 100% ridiculous.
There is still hope that I will get to deliver in the private hospital that I want to. I can resume my care at the private hospital after my 35th week, since I would be considered full-term at that time. I just have to suffer through 7 more appointments at the creepy hospital...Yes, I have to be seen once a week.
The good news is that the doctor at the general hospital seems to have less flare for the dramatic than most of the Korean doctors in this country. He is not too worried about my condition, and keeps the dramatics to a minimum.
I will explain Korean dramatics. Just imagine soap opera acting. It is very easy to get sucked in if you let it, but I have become immune. For example, my radiologist was visibly disappointed that he could find no legitimate reason for my smaller than normal baby. He was even more disappointed that his incredibly negative assessment of an uneventful ultrasound did not spark fear, crying, or other hysterics from me or Darius. He simply received an mmhmm, and a thank you for my CD. Even the liaison who helped me at the general hospital today has a slight flare for the dramatic. Using a soap opera like tone to tell me for the millionth time that my amniotic fluid is low and baby is a week smaller than she should be. Again, my response was simply, I know and mmhmm... As I was leaving, she again told me not to worry. To which I replied, I'm not the one that's worried. What they don't realize is that unlike other Koreans, I don't take the doctor's word as gospel, and take some responsibility for my own care.
I know good and well that if her measurements are within 2 weeks of her gestational age, she is considered normal. I also know that while my amniotic fluid levels are on the low side, they are still on the low side of normal. So, it drives them crazy when I don't react with soap opera-like flare every time they try to give me some sort of less than ideal news. It's become quite entertaining to me as they try by repeating what they said or rephrasing it as if I didn't understand what they were trying to tell me the first time in attempt to illicit a different reaction.
OH KOREA!
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