Expect the Unexpected From Me and You Will Never Be Surprised

The cat has left the bag, and has completely vanished. The milk has been split, and so it is now appropriate for me to announce it to the world. As the title would suggest, the news I share will come as a shock to, I dare say, everyone that knows me. However, I, any other way, just wouldn't be me.

With such shocking news, I will try to do my best to be better about keeping this updated since for most it will be the only way to keep up with everything. For others, I hope it serves as both a comfort and a source of information for those who have stumbled upon my blog.

Somewhere near the end of October the world will be blessed with a little girl who is half me, half Darius. Look out world, you have no idea what you will be getting yourself into.

Because I can't seem to do anything like a normal person, my first and only child, made in America, will be born in Korea. So, this has been and will continue to be quite an adventure as we navigate through being first time parents in a foreign country with all our family and friends no less than 8,000 miles away.

This is week 16 of our adventure, and I will fill you in as to what has happened so far and how it happened.
I must also preface that what I will share with you will be truthful and honest. I fear my honesty will anger some, horrify others, and entertain most. My honesty will keep me from being admitted to the pregnant lady club as I am about to reveal the deep, dark secrets of pregnancy as I see it.

Deciding to have a baby and do it while we are living in Korea was a conscious decision that Darius and I made with much thought and planning.  No surprises here. The only surprise was how quickly everything has happened. Though, I still shock myself that I am still surprised when God gives me exactly what I ask for. As an Implanon user, (if you don't know what this is, don't worry) I had heard that it could take up to a year before I would be able to get pregnant. That, of course, did not fit into my timeline. I had a 6 month window where we would try. If it didn't happen, it didn't happen.

When I went to get my Implanon removed at Hyosung Hospital in Daegu, which, by the way, you can also get them inserted and they speak perfect English, the doctor told me just two things. The first thing was it could take up to a year for me to conceive. The second piece of advice was to "don't wear your husband out." That was it.  Most people find Korean doctors to be a little callous. I find them refreshing. They get straight to the point and don't sugar coat anything.

I'm happy to say the doctor was wrong. It only took about 2 weeks from removal to conception. It's a record, I'm sure. You usually hear all of these wonderful stories filled with rays of sunshine of an excited husband and wife huddled over the stick waiting for the 2 blue lines to appear. When the lines do appear the husband and wife shriek with joy and are immediately transported into a bubble filled with rainbows and glitter.  This was not the way it happened for me. We we're stateside when I took the test, and so I at least was in the comfort of my home. However, when the two blue lines appeared I think I stopped breathing for, I don't know, hours followed by quite a few panic attacks.  I don't care how much you plan, how long you wait, or how confident you are that this is the right time. You will panic. I panicked. I tried to make Darius panic. Everything that had been talk up until that point had suddenly become very real, and it was, to say the least, overwhelming.

Darius, however, was eerily calm and even found my panic a little humorous. He let me freak out, I'm sure for his own entertainment, before he quietly and calmly reminded me that God has never, ever let me down. God gave me exactly what I asked for in exactly the time frame that I wanted. Then, of course, I decided that I must be the craziest person ever to panic about this. However, this would not be my last panic attack.

When we got back to Korea, I called the doctor and told her I had to know immediately if the test was right. I love Korea for their Saturday doctor's hours. That Saturday I went to the doctor who confirmed with an ultrasound that the test was correct. Panic ensued again. This type of panic required the advice of the older sister. I have no idea what time it was in the states when I called her, but she was the only one who was going to be able to shed some light on these ridiculous panicky feelings of mine. I must mention at this point that there were numerous bouts of uncontrollable crying during this time.

After listening to me cry into the phone for a good 5 minutes before I could even speak, my sister laughed at me. I felt guilty for the crying and the panicking of which she told me over and over again during an hour long international phone call that it was hormones and normal. The crying would soon stop, and she explained that my panic simply came from the fact that my life was changing. I know Darius was thankful and would have paid any amount that that phone call would have costed me. Up until that time, he was the only one I had unloaded my panic and tears on.  Thankfully, after that phone call, the panic-stricken feelings went away and the crying stopped. Darius should have sent her a fruit basket. Better yet, he should have just sent her a whole dang tree.

The great thing about the Korean medical system is the cost and the services available. Unlike in the states, I get an ultrasound at every doctor's visit. I can also drop by anytime I want to for another one. It is nice, since we are so far away, that all of the ultrasound videos are loaded onto a USB so I can send the videos and have the printouts of each visit. Each ultrasound visit costs about $30.00.  I really wish they did this in the states. It is so comforting to hear that heartbeat and see her every 3 or 4 weeks. The doctor visits here are so quick, and you are in an out in less than 30 minutes. Part of the Korean Insurance program is that you also get pre-loaded debit card worth about $500.00 that you can use to pay for your medical bills. You can only use $60 at a time, but it's free money. You simply take the certificate that the doctor gives you proving your pregnant, and take it to a participating bank to pick up the card. You can also go to the post office.

The other great thing about the doctors here is that they are so accessible. For example, Darius has a texting relationship with his doctor. I can email my doctor, and she will respond back to me personally before the end of the day. The foreign liaison who helps translate when needed gives out her personal cell phone number to patients to use 24 hours a day.

So...at 16 weeks baby is healthy. I'm healthy. I'm one of the chosen who didn't have to deal with morning sickness. I've only gained 4 pounds thus far, and I haven't changed my eating habits. I have a theory that (and this is the part that will make some people angry and denied access to the club) pregnancy is simply an excuse to overeat. I don't and won't buy into the garbage line of Baby wants _______ (fill in the blank) If all babies wants and can eat when they come out is breast milk or formula, then why would baby be craving gallons of cookie dough ice cream, bags of potato chips, and any other decadent, disgusting delight that we would normally deny ourselves? If you wanna eat it, eat it. Just don't blame the baby.

I also haven't made my husband a slave to my every whim and desire even though he has taken up some of my responsibilities all on his own. Yes, I am tired. However, I still manage to make it to work, go to my dance class three times a week, make dinner sometimes, study for my GRE, and all the other stuff that I was doing before. Being pregnant for me is a work in progress, and my opinions on these touchy subjects may yet change. But for now, I refuse to be that pregnant lady.